Happiness

According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, happiness is "a state of well-being and contentment - joy." That's a difficult one for me. I mean that to say that I am not content. There are so many things that I need to accomplish. But I do have a large amount of well-being and joy.
What I mean is that I don't feel as though I have everything that I need. I think that I need to do more before I reach the level of "contentment," that is if such a thing exists. The hard part for me is figuring out how. How does a man who everyone was certain would never amount to much supposed to increase his stature in the world and make himself a force to be reckoned with?
According to Merriam-Webster's, content merely means satisfied. I am so totally not satisfied. But the scary part is, maybe I am and I just don't know it. That would explain a lot - the way I act, the way I speak, the way I dress. What if I'm really content and just pretending to want more?
Whether or not I am truly content, I have unprecedented levels of happiness every day. It is a feeling that I cannot describe, other than to say that I have created a life like no other. I can express my highest self every day, and create wealth where there was none before. Though it's hard to find out how. I did incorporate at about the midpoint of this year. It's been a rough road, but I'm glad that I made it through.
The most important thing to remember is that I never even expected to live this long. As a black man from the projects, my success was anything but guaranteed. I needed to figure out how I was going to survive, first of all. And then I had to execute on my vision. I had to make myself indispensable somewhere, and that's what I did.
There are a few things that make me happy. They are:
1. Family
2. Freedom
3. Rest
4. Health
5. Money
6. Sex
7. Entertainment
8. People
9. Food
10. Love
Family seems obvious, but it's really not. I have no family, but family is at the top of the list. Why is that? Even though I will likely never have a family of my own, it is one of my top values. It is the thing that really comes out ahead. I can't think of one era of my life in which family wasn't an important part. Having a mother and siblings certainly opened doors for me early on, especially since I was the lowest performer in the family. They sort of boosted  me up artificially.
Freedom is the absolute best. If I want to sleep  all day, I can. There are consequences, of course, but I'm more than willing to deal with them, because I am free. I can go to the library and read a million books. It's not hard. I love to read. In a country that incarcerates more people than any country in the world - most of them black - I have survived on the outside for a lifetime that I would only describe as magical. I have done things that I never would've thought possible, seen things that would make my younger me blush.
Rest is the sneaky one. I need lots of rest. I can't be up all day and all night like I could when I was a kid. I need to sleep and let myself recharge. It seems as though I rest a little bit too much, but the payoff is immense. I have just the energy that I need, just when I need it. I can travel across the city and engage in a wide variety of activities, all meant to bring a bright future for me. It's so hard to go to bed at 8pm. Why not 5? Like I said, there are consequences for everything that a person does. But who wouldn't want to get some extra rest every once and a while?
I am one of the healthiest people alive. It shows up in my workout routines, in my fitness, in my energy, in my diet and in my behaviors. It's in the way that I largely cut out sweets from my diet. It's in the way that I'm always drinking healthy fruit juice. It's in my way of creating wealth where there was none before. I'm just happy to be where I am now, always at the cusp of something great, never being uncertain. Always having my own methods and, yes, imperfections. I'm really imperfect, you know. I just wish that there were some way to convey all of the great dreams that I have. I truly am a dreamer.
Money is the great equalizer. I can spend, and therefore I exist. People have to cater to me because I am a customer. And as a customer, I have requirements. I need quality food at an excellent price. I need quality housing. Quality entertainment. I just wish that I could've made things easier for myself earlier on. It was truly a war of the worlds back then. But I handled it well for someone who was so new. My old debs are paid, and I'm headed towards a new future of opportunity with an open mind and an open heart.
I love sex, though I've never had it.
Entertainment is the thing that keeps me from sleeping 24/7. The great orators and the great storytellers are all here, wherever you look. I recently saw a movie called Flatliners. All rookie cast. It was very interesting how misleading a movie's advertising can be. I remembered it as this cerebral thriller, sort of like Solaris with George Clooney. It turned out to be a very schlocky, yet very surprising, trip into the world of the past. Not what I was expecting at all, really. The amazing thing about entertainment is that it's so ubiquitous now. You can check out your Jackie Chan classics at the library.